I am a fundamentalist

 

 

Often, suicide terrorists are referred to as fundamentalists. But that is what they are absolutely not. They are mostly confused young people, who have lost themselves completely. And they are often abused by cynical people who want to gain power through terror.

The word 'fundamentalism' is often associated with Muslim men who want to oppress the woman. The pope and company seem to want that too. But have these people gone back to their foundation? Or do they slavishly follow the teachings of their ancestors? Or do they just live out their instincts? Or are they the slave of the combination of an old doctrine combined with their instincts?

 

My youth

My father was a reformed Christian, free-mason, spiritualist, alcoholic and psychopath. My mother was brought up in a Catholic convent by crazy nuns, with the superstition of the twenties and thirties of the last century. Both were totally unsuitable for raising children, according to a clinical psychiatrist. At the age of seven I was placed in a children's home and I had some protection. At the age of 11 I was placed with my psychotic mother again without good reason. In the final report of the children's home they even stated: "He has the intelligence for gymnasium, but that will not work with mother at home". Indeed. Moreover, the agreed supervision of the childcare custody organization was completely absent.

If I had been a 'normal' child, I would have become a drug addict or drug dealer or terrorist. Fortunately I was 'abnormal'. At the age of 8 I bought (in the children's home) my first chemistry box. At the age of 12 I had a complete laboratory in the attic. (With substances for which you would now be arrested.) Also at the age of 12, I went with my mother to a Mazdaznan course. Mazdaznan is a kind of Persian yoga, based on the teachings of the old Zoroastrians. I immediately became vegetarian and started with an ever continuing spiritual development with daily breathing exercises and meditation. With that I kept my psychological problems in check.

At the age of 20 I applied for psychoanalysis. The psychoanalytic institute rejected this with the words: "You are doing well in society. Your psychological foundations are so damaged that psychoanalysis only offers risks." There we have it: psychological foundations. In order to repair them, I had to become a fundamentalist. I had to and would go to my foundations. But how do you do that?

 

LSD

Meditation and breathing exercises helped me to control my mind. But that made the barrier between me and my damaged foundations only stronger. I tried everything: Behaviorism, Jungian and Freudian psychology, alpha training, silva mind control, alchemy, magical rituals, shamanism. I made a primitive brain machine from a 555-ic, complete with TENS (neuro-electric stimulation) and used it in combination with self hypnosis cassettes. Little progress. What now?

The breakthrough came after reading books by John C. Lilly. He described his experiments with LSD. At that time I was still fiercely against drugs, but after reading Lilly I decided to try LSD. LSD is not actually a drug, at least not a drug that sedates you or that eases your psychological pain. It is rather 'dynamite for the mind'. It will destroy you when you misuse it. With proper use it is a tool to become a fundamentalist.

I started taking seeds from Morning Glory. That was in 1985, around my 24th. I saw myself as a mindless robot, that run its standard programs. Then I got a paper trip from a friend. That really took me further. At that time I immersed myself in the Icelandic myths around Yggdrasil, the world tree. I changed to Surtr, the fire giant. In mythology Surtr burns the old world, so that there is room for a new one. In my vision I trampled my old world and created a new one. From that moment on I went deeper and deeper into the old Germanic mythology.

The most important works on Germanic mythology are the two Eddas from Iceland. OThey have more or less described paganism as it was. If we compare it with the Bible or the Rig Veda, then we see an important difference. The Bible and Rig Veda have been edited, polished, made more beautiful. The Eddas contain raw myths. They bring us back to our origins. They can not be understood intellectually. They must be experienced.